"Quality of interaction overrules attitude and method" (JESPER JUUL).
What does that mean? It means, for example, the following: you are the VP of sales of a high-tech company. You come to see me because, for a few months now, you have noticed that some of your staff is exhibiting periodically passive-aggressive behavior. You are stunned and you do not understand why is this happening, since you always "behaved correctly" in front of them, you were always "mindful" and you had "the right attitude".
At this point I don't even need to know what you mean by "behaved correctly", "mindful" and "the right attitude". But I ask anyway, because it is important for you to lay down the circumstances, like a lego construction, which afterwards you will take apart and reconstruct the way you want.
I say that I am not interested in what you mean by these expressions simply because, although there are hundreds of correct attitudes and behaviors promoted by organizational consulting gurus, what matters the most is this: QUALITY OF INTERACTION. The quality of your interactions and relationships, as a VP of sales, with your staff and colleagues. Of course, as a leader it is very important to be able to set the correct boundaries and so on. But no best-selling books can teach you what is THE attitude and method. Simply because only you, XYZ, the VP of sales at Etc-High-Tech, Inc., know the people you are working with. A genuine, quality interaction with your staff is what will fix the problem.
How do I know that? Because I saw "the miraculous" change in ANY relationship (at work, with partners, spouses, children and friends) where an effort was made to replace what was believed to be the correct attitude and method with a genuine, good quality interaction, based on equal dignity and respect.
So I'll say it one more time:
"Quality of interaction overrules attitude and method".
Try it for yourself and you'll find out. And if it doesn't work, come and see me, I'll give you a free 1h consultation, face to face, in the office. No kidding!